Sunday, November 14, 2010

Too old, too poor, but still want more (sort of)

Kids that is.  As much as I want to feel "done" having children, I don't.  I have the same feeling I had after Zozu....there will be another.  Logically, there are plenty of reasons why two children are enough for us.  I do not enjoy's super difficult on me physically.  It was hard to work, nearly impossible to sleep during the last few months.  All the nausea and "surprise" vomiting, the kind that gives about a 20 second warning.  The weight gain and subsequent work to take off the pounds.  All that is awful.

Then there's my age, which I think factors into the physical difficulty.  If I allow my body to fully recover from my  recent pregnancy and continue to protect Li Li's milk supply, it will be at least 7 months before even considering becoming pregnant.  That puts me at 38 during the pregnancy and almost 39 at the time of delivery and that is if we get pregnant right away.  Do I really want to be 60 at my child's graduation?

The biggest reason NOT to add to our family is money.  We are currently in a 1000 sf home with 3 small bedrooms (10 x 10) and only one full bath.  There is no real attic space and no basement.  Where would this third child sleep?  With his/her brother or sister I suppose.....a tight squeeze.  Selling the home is obviously not an option with the market the way it is and on my meager salary, there is little chance of getting approved for a loan large enough to cover a bigger house anyway.  Then there's the issue of child care.....if Dad works, then we pay for 2 kids in full-time daycare and 1 kid in before/after school care.  Estimated cost: $2300/month.  It just doesn't make sense.  That relegates Dad to the home for several years.  Will he even be able to get a job after that long away from the workforce?

So yeah, lots to consider.  And not a whole hell of a lot of time to decide.

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